TJOURNAL.COM • Website of The Tri-County Journal & Chattahoochee Chronicle
The Tri-County Journal
& Chattahoochee Chronicle
PO Box 850, 71 Webb Lane
Buena Vista, GA 31803
229-649-6397
tjournal@alltel.net
Daddy Duty is written by Richard Harris, publisher of The Tri-County Journal & Chattahoochee Chronicle.
Little Boy Bravado Causes Concern
Community Calendars |
With the exception of feeling a little shy around strangers who want to hold him, my son knows no fear if "Da-Da" is close at hand. Sometimes I think that's a good thing -- such as when I encourage him to branch out and discover new things. Much of the time, however, it simply means that at the end of the day there's a very tired man putting him to bed.
We have steps that measure eight inches leading up to our porch. That's a simple step for an adult, but when you're 32 1/2 inches tall, it's quite a drop. But my little boy doesn't worry about such physics if his old man is around. He simply runs to the steps with one hand held high in the air and takes a big step off -- knowing that before he starts to tumble, I'll grab his outstretched hand and steady him on the way down.
One of the first times we went swimming this summer, I was amazed at how he didn't hesitate when I told him to jump off the side of the pool and into my arms. I was quite proud of myself for encouraging his bravery ... until I realized that he would soon be jumping into the water anytime I was already in the pool. If anyone else is in the water, he will make sure they're ready to catch him. But if Da-Da is around, he's a little Greg Louganis -- diving in with reckless abandon whether I tell him to jump to me or not.
To make matters worse, while Granddaddy was playing with him in the shallow end, I decided to jump off the diving board. As soon as my head surfaced from beneath the deep water, he began pointing to the diving board. He wanted to do what Daddy had done. I didn't think that was such a good idea, but he persisted in his request (no, make that demand) like only a little boy can. So, rather than listen to constant pleading, I figured we'd give him the opportunity and let him see for himself that it was just too scary. So, thinking he'd be too afraid to actually take the plunge, I had Granddaddy put him up on the diving board while I treaded water below. A half second later I was pulling his head back above water and realizing that it's much more difficult that one would think to stay afloat while holding an extra 25 pounds.
As I thought about those examples and hundreds of other small acts of bravery that my boy displays when he's with me, I started trying to decide if it was a good thing. I mean, surely, there will be times when Da-Da isn't quick enough or alert enough to avoid a negative consequence.
But as I began to mentally kick myself for failing as a parent, another thought occurred to me. Isn't it a very good thing for a boy to have great trust in his father? To be brave enough to jump right into the mud and muck of life, knowing that someone is there to catch him? What if he didn't have a Daddy around like that? Wouldn't life be much harder? So what if Daddy isn't quick enough to avoid the occasional scrape, scratch or bump on the head? There's always Ma-Ma to quickly kiss the boo-boo and wipe away the tears. And such boo-boos quickly heal (thank heaven or someone would have reported us to DFACS on suspicion of abuse).
I know from experience that when a young boy becomes a young man there are scary choices to make. I also know they are easier to make if the young man knows his old man is still around to catch him if need be. So, rather than despairing over the increasing bandaids that cover my child's body, I'll continue to let him run at full throttle -- and catch him when I can. And when he's older and is faced with falls that are a little too steep for me to guarantee a soft landing, I'll pass along the fact that there's a Heavenly Father also always standing right beside us, ready to catch us when we leap. ... and instructing Ma-Ma and Da-Da to be ready to help pick up the pieces.
